Through My Own Eyes

At this moment, I am having a hard time seeing the screen to type. Sadly, that is not an unusual occurrence for me these days; but in this case, it is because of the tears blurring my vision. Tears because I am finally writing this post.

I know I just kind of disappeared several months ago. I apologise to my readers for not giving notice; I owed you all an explanation and I want to do that now.

I have a condition called Macular Degeneration. It is not uncommon but it can be devastating nonetheless. It causes a blurring and darkening in the centre of my vision that affects my ability to see things clearly. It also affects my depth perception. It has no cure; I will never regain full vision. All I can do is try to slow down its advance. My right eye is much worse than my left, but my vision in both eyes is slowly deteriorating. I can still see to work, but anything that depends on depth perception is increasingly difficult. This, sadly, includes photography in Second Life.

For over five years, blogging was my passion. Staging a scene, styling my avatar, selecting a pose, finding just the right goddamn angle and Windlight setting all were challenges that I embraced. And I was pretty OK at it. I met many wonderful and talented people, forged friendships and family through it and just had a good time. But as my condition worsened, I found it harder and harder to find the joy. It became a chore and a source of stress and distress. In January I made the decision to resign from blogging for groups and creators as I didn’t feel I could adequately give them the coverage they deserved. My plan was to just blog whenever I felt inspired. But I found that removing the deadlines didn’t eradicate the stress; I simply wasn’t good enough anymore to meet my own standards. So…I just walked away.

During the course of blogging, I developed several Windlight settings. I mainly used these for portrait photography, but a few of them are kind of pretty but some of them are rather stark and bright. I hadn’t really realised, but I think I was trying to bring a bit more lightness into my world. At any rate, I have uploaded these to MediaFire and you are welcome to download them and use them, if you would like. You can find them here: Peep’s Windlight Settings . If you need help installing them, there is a good post on the Second Life Forum that explains how to do it.

I still log into Second Life on occasion, but I feel lost without having a photo to shoot, a blog post to prepare, a room to style. I am trying to find my way again in Second Life – I still love the creativity of this virtual world and I haven’t been able to give up on it. So, if you see a half-blind avatar wandering around but still looking somewhat stylish, stop and say hello. I still want to see you through my own eyes.

Pretty stuff I’m showing off:
Dress: Salt & Pepper S&P Gabriella Lara flower by xxSaltandPepperxx
Necklace: *PROMAGIC* Laxmi-Necklace-RoseGold by Promagic
Hair: Lamb. Dream by Lamb Bellic
Mesh head: .LeLutka.Head.May 3.0 by JadenArt
Mesh body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1 by Onyx LeShelle
Mesh head applier: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* for LeLutka Heads *Shannyn* EASTERN by Steffi Villota (available at Uber through August 22)
Mesh body applier: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* for Maitreya Mesh Body “Freckles” EASTERN by Steffi Villota
Eyeshadow: alaskametro<3 “Duochrome” eyeshadow – Lelutka by Alaska Metropolitan (available at The Mesh Body Addicts Fair August 2018)
Lipstick: alaskametro<3 “Whimsy” makeup palette – Lelutka HUD by Alaska Metropolitan (available at The Mesh Body Addicts Fair August 2018)
Pose: IMAGE ESSENTIALS IE – Soft Caress 3 mirror by kay Weston
Windlight setting: Boho Teal2 (PeepS)

19 thoughts on “Through My Own Eyes

  1. chericolette August 3, 2018 / 8:02 pm

    Talk about good and bad news! Im glad you are sharing your reasons for the long silents but sad about your RL problems. I hate it when people leave and we never know what happened to them. I will treasure my photos you took of me and Tim even more now. Thankyou Peep, for your friendship and tips. ((HUGS))

    • PeepSideshow Darkward August 3, 2018 / 8:16 pm

      Hugs right back, Cheri ❤ I could say I'll try to blog from time to time, but I can't promise. If I have a good day and I'm inspired, I'll try. If not, I'll just find my way through Second Life another way 🙂

  2. Sasy Scarborough August 3, 2018 / 10:43 pm

    You have made Second Life a better place, whether in it full time or you come back and visit us randomly if you leave us you are missed without a doubt, but you need to do what you need to do. I thank you so much for being part of our community and always felt such joy in seeing you so helpful to others in groups and just your all round sense of kindness. Thank you Peep for sharing your Second Life with us for all these years.

    xoxSasyxox

    • PeepSideshow Darkward August 4, 2018 / 10:15 am

      Thanks, Sasy 🙂 And thanks for your friendship and good old fashioned pep talk. Our little chat yesterday was the kick up the backside I needed to finish this post. I’m going to stick around and see what I can do to remain creative…in one way or another 🙂 xxx

  3. Salt August 3, 2018 / 10:58 pm

    your are a wonderful person dear Peep. I was lucky to have you blogging for me for a long time and always enjoyed your pics but even more so the personal bits you allowed us to read on your blog. I truly hope you will be able to come to SL even if it’s only now and then and enjoy it a bit , gather with friends, chat or anything what is possible for you. ❤
    xoxo
    Salt

    • PeepSideshow Darkward August 4, 2018 / 10:17 am

      Ah, sexy, salty Salt! It really hurt me to have to stop blogging for you, but as you can see, I managed to sneak one more in 😉 I’m not going to go away – I’m just going to take another path now. ❤

  4. colleen Criss August 4, 2018 / 6:43 am

    I was just thinking about you yesterday and visited your flickr. I was to sad see you had disappeared and I am even sadder to hear about your health. I will hope to see you around the grid and hope to see you post blogs, photos or not, just to let us know how you are doing if anything.Prayers .

    • PeepSideshow Darkward August 4, 2018 / 10:20 am

      Hi Colleen, thanks for stopping by 🙂 I am not going to be modest; I’m thrilled to know you were rambling around my Flickr (I’m still checking those views and likes!). I’m going to try to come in more often. Second Life has a way of getting under your skin and I’ll just keep on itching 😉 xxx

  5. Alexa August 4, 2018 / 8:33 am

    I wondered what happened with you, and it saddens me to hear what you’re going through. Sends you warm thoughts and hugs.

    • Alexa August 4, 2018 / 8:34 am

      Well that went prematurely, but I was glad to see a post from you Peeps. Give a holler anytime. Hugs.

      • PeepSideshow Darkward August 4, 2018 / 10:21 am

        I’m not even gonna make a comment about “prematurely” but just know I’m giggling as I refrain 😉 Hugs right back, and I hope you don’t live to regret the invitation for a holler! xoxo

      • Alexa August 4, 2018 / 10:26 am

        Chuckles.. get your mind out of the gutter!! Or you regret issuing the invitation! 😀

      • PeepSideshow Darkward August 4, 2018 / 11:11 am

        Oh, Alexa, I stumbled into the gutter years ago and I have no intention of ever climbing out! 😀

      • Alexa August 4, 2018 / 10:27 am

        I’m really doing great today, you didn’t issue the invitation…it was meant to say or you regret accepting is what I meant. LOL

  6. mslamourfou August 8, 2018 / 1:39 am

    Today is the first time I am reading your blog. I appreciate your candor and wish you serenity and happiness as you continue on your journey. I am excited to download your windlight settings so that I may see Second Life through your eyes. ((hugs))

    • PeepSideshow Darkward August 9, 2018 / 10:41 pm

      It’s nice to meet you, Lixena. Thank you for stopping by for a visit and enjoy the Windlight settings 🙂 ❤

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