At this moment, I am having a hard time seeing the screen to type. Sadly, that is not an unusual occurrence for me these days; but in this case, it is because of the tears blurring my vision. Tears because I am finally writing this post.
I know I just kind of disappeared several months ago. I apologise to my readers for not giving notice; I owed you all an explanation and I want to do that now.
I have a condition called Macular Degeneration. It is not uncommon but it can be devastating nonetheless. It causes a blurring and darkening in the centre of my vision that affects my ability to see things clearly. It also affects my depth perception. It has no cure; I will never regain full vision. All I can do is try to slow down its advance. My right eye is much worse than my left, but my vision in both eyes is slowly deteriorating. I can still see to work, but anything that depends on depth perception is increasingly difficult. This, sadly, includes photography in Second Life.
For over five years, blogging was my passion. Staging a scene, styling my avatar, selecting a pose, finding just the right goddamn angle and Windlight setting all were challenges that I embraced. And I was pretty OK at it. I met many wonderful and talented people, forged friendships and family through it and just had a good time. But as my condition worsened, I found it harder and harder to find the joy. It became a chore and a source of stress and distress. In January I made the decision to resign from blogging for groups and creators as I didn’t feel I could adequately give them the coverage they deserved. My plan was to just blog whenever I felt inspired. But I found that removing the deadlines didn’t eradicate the stress; I simply wasn’t good enough anymore to meet my own standards. So…I just walked away.
During the course of blogging, I developed several Windlight settings. I mainly used these for portrait photography, but a few of them are kind of pretty but some of them are rather stark and bright. I hadn’t really realised, but I think I was trying to bring a bit more lightness into my world. At any rate, I have uploaded these to MediaFire and you are welcome to download them and use them, if you would like. You can find them here: Peep’s Windlight Settings . If you need help installing them, there is a good post on the Second Life Forum that explains how to do it.
I still log into Second Life on occasion, but I feel lost without having a photo to shoot, a blog post to prepare, a room to style. I am trying to find my way again in Second Life – I still love the creativity of this virtual world and I haven’t been able to give up on it. So, if you see a half-blind avatar wandering around but still looking somewhat stylish, stop and say hello. I still want to see you through my own eyes.
Pretty stuff I’m showing off:
Dress: Salt & Pepper S&P Gabriella Lara flower by xxSaltandPepperxx
Necklace: *PROMAGIC* Laxmi-Necklace-RoseGold by Promagic
Hair: Lamb. Dream by Lamb Bellic
Mesh head: .LeLutka.Head.May 3.0 by JadenArt
Mesh body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1 by Onyx LeShelle
Mesh head applier: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* for LeLutka Heads *Shannyn* EASTERN by Steffi Villota (available at Uber through August 22)
Mesh body applier: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* for Maitreya Mesh Body “Freckles” EASTERN by Steffi Villota
Eyeshadow: alaskametro<3 “Duochrome” eyeshadow – Lelutka by Alaska Metropolitan (available at The Mesh Body Addicts Fair August 2018)
Lipstick: alaskametro<3 “Whimsy” makeup palette – Lelutka HUD by Alaska Metropolitan (available at The Mesh Body Addicts Fair August 2018)
Pose: IMAGE ESSENTIALS IE – Soft Caress 3 mirror by kay Weston
Windlight setting: Boho Teal2 (PeepS)