Ugh. I wasn’t going to do this meme. I was firmly convinced that I would tuck it in the “too hard basket” and let it rot. I’ve done that a couple of times with Miss Berry’s Monday Memes and I’ve felt guilty each time I have skipped one. Not because I skipped it, but because I allowed it to sit in that ugly basket that clutters a dusty and dark corner of my mind.
I actually started to write this yesterday, going so far as to copy the questions into a post, but then I stopped. Self-examination is never easy and yesterday I was having a blue day. Looking into myself and facing my faults wasn’t going to happen. It was easier to curl up on the couch with my cat and my Kindle and play Scarlett.
But this morning, armed with a cup of tea and a more positive outlook, here I sit. I’m still not entirely comfortable with my answers, but here they are. After all, tomorrow came and it is another day.
1. Regardless of your current number, how old do you actually feel? – In my heart, I feel like I’m still in my early 20s. But lately I have come to appreciate the wisdom that the years have brought me. I like the balance – almost like knowing then what I know now.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? – I have learned hard lessons from my failures and in many respects I regret having tried. Some things have been easier than others to just pass off as a life-lesson. Others have led to changes that have had far-reaching consequences in not only my life, but in that of others. And oh, the joy when we succeed!
I think what is worse is trying without considering the ramifications of forging ahead. I have been accused of overthinking, but I am a firm believer in weighing up the pros and cons. That is a lesson I have learned from my many failures.
3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? – I wouldn’t have married. I lost a lot of important things by binding myself to the wrong man. Not material things, but things such as self-confidence and independence. The independence I have regained; the self-confidence? Not so much.
4. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? – I like to do things the right way but to me it is most important to do the right thing. I have made enemies from refusing to do something that I believed was wrong but more importantly, I have earned the respect of people who I admire by that refusal.
5. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? – I am a worrier – I come by it honestly (handed down from my mother). I’m by no means a genius, but I’m far from a simpleton. I know that I often worry about things I have created to worry over, but I can’t imagine a life where I didn’t care enough to worry.
6. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? – Probably not. I know I can be judgmental, no matter how hard I try not to be. I have distanced myself from people I considered to be life-long friends because I believed they made choices that were obviously hurtful to themselves or others.
7. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? – Since 5 years is the time frame, the answer has to be yes. That was a particularly rough time and the reasons for my upset had a major impact on my life.
8. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? – One late night, almost a year ago, when a misunderstanding was corrected.
9. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? – I would probably open my own business. I’m not sure what it would be; I used to want to open a bookstore, but I can’t see that getting off the ground (particularly since I am now a dedicated Kindle user). I would think of something.
10. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? – Since I won that million, I would pay to have all of my friends fly in for a party 😉
11. What do you feel is the difference between being alive and truly living? – Truly living is celebrating every moment – remembering to see the world as through the eyes of a child.
12. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? – I think it is repeating the mistake that we fear.
13. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? – Sing and dance in the rain.
14. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? – Never let a day go by that you don’t laugh.
I realise this post is a bit somber, but one thing I learned from that time I was so upset five years ago is my answer to the final question. It’s a great way to end this post and a wonderful adage to live by.
You can head over to Miss Berry’s post to find other examples of introspection in the comments.
Pretty stuff I’m wearing:
*Top: .::Vivid::. Simplicity [TOP] by Honey Bernandes
Jeans: !Admiral Spicy! Bow Jeans (S) Ombre 2 by Sunny Ember (NLA)
Shoes: [Gos] Bordello – Bonnie – Collection by Gospel Voom (Available at Shoetopia)
Hair: Analog Dog – spring sangria by Queue Marlowe
Necklace: EarthStones Karin Necklace – Red Jasper by Abraxxa Anatine (EarthStones Halloween Gift)
Bracelet: EarthStones Karin Bracelet – Red Jasper (EarthStones Halloween Gift)
Earrings: EarthStones Karin Earrings – Red Jasper by Abraxxa Anatine (Earthstones Halloween Gift)
Belly ring: EarthStones Sophia Belly Ring – Red Jasper by Abraxxa Anatine
Skin: [PXL] Creations – [PXL] JADE SK Cherry Lips MEB C2 by Hart Larsson
Hands: Slink Mesh Hands (av) Casual by Siddean Munro
Hand appliers:[PXL] Creations – [ PXL ] Slink Hand Appliers SK by Hart Larsson
Eyes: Amacci Gaze Eyes – Ocean Blue by Carina Larsen
Lashes: Mon Cheri *MC* “Falsies” Eyelash by Freya Oliveri
Pose prop: GLITTERATI – Blind. by Katey Coppola (NLA)